When control is stolen from a person, their life is not their own anymore. They become a slave to another person or entity. That causes a degree of death within. A study was done of people that ended up in prison. A large percent were strong willed children born 2nd under a strong willed sibling. They were not allowed to exercise their right to decide for themselves their wishes or desires. The first decision a person makes in the womb is when to be born. Once they decide, a hormone is released to start the labor. If a doctor or mother gives a date out of convenience, that first crucial decision is taken from them. The decision to take on life in full force and go after who and why they were born is diminished.
Controlling bosses make for an oppressed working environment. Controlling governments create a depressed society. Controlling parents cause frustrated children. G-d gave us free choice. It is foundational to his kindgom. Because of it, we thrive- a surge of gumption to create. It is the gift from G-d that makes us fully human and the constant source of hateful jealously from Satan- part of the formula of being made in G-d’s image. A person becomes sick in his emotions and consequently in his body when hope is deferred. In the parable of the talents, the evil servant hid his talents and chose to not create. We are designed to choose within our lives. We decide who we marry, who our friends are and what career we embark on. More simple things like what we eat and dress, where we live and how we spend our time speak our individuality.
The balancing act is finding wisdom between the non-negotiables and freedom of choice. Nature can have some harsh and grave consequences. G-d’s laws are a gift for the keys to success and walking in his confines bring consequences of blessings. The goal of parenting is to use G-d’s methods and create a space for the child to thrive in their own free will so they learn to make wise decisions at each stage. Knowing what they can handle is the trick of deciding to choose for them verses their ability to handle it alone.
I say, give the gift of freedom to other’s lives. Love them for who they are.